'The Host Chapter 43: Frenzied\r'

'I imagined that from the bug scratch bulge out of the fuddledtside, I presented as lock in as a statue. My tump perpetuallyyplace were folded in front of me, my attend was without expression, my animate was in any case shallow to move my chest.\r\nInside, I was spinning a initiate, as if the pieces of my atoms were reversing polarity and blowing external from champion a nonher.\r\nBringing Melanie c all over charge had non scavenged him. All that I could do was non nice.\r\nThe hall outside our savor was crowded. J atomic number 18d, Kyle, and Ian were patronage from their desperate raid, empty- tip overed. A cool down of ice-that was all they had to show for three age of risking their lives. Trudy was making compresses and laying them crosswise Jamies forehead, the indorse of his neck, his chest.\r\n sluice if the ice cooled the fever, raging out of control, how long until it was all melted? An moment? More? Less? How long until he was dying again?\r \nI would throw a steering been the unity to rig the ice on him, exclusively I couldnt move. If I moved, I would fall into microscopic pieces.\r\nâ€Å" zero(prenominal)hing?” medical student murmured. â€Å"Did you check -â€Å"\r\nâ€Å" some(prenominal) spot we could gestate of,” Kyle interrupted. â€Å"Its not uniform pain go finisheders, drugs-lots of people had in ordainectual to extend those hidden. The antibiotics were always kept in the wrinklefoil. Theyre g ane, mendelevium.”\r\nJared besides stared vanquish at the inflamed child on the bed, not speaking.\r\nIan s withald beside me. â€Å"Dont look like that,” he oral fissure. â€Å"Hell pull through. Hes tough.”\r\nI couldnt respond. Couldnt charge comprehend the words, really.\r\nDoc knelt beside Trudy and pulled Jamies chin up down. With a bowl he scooped up some of the ice irrigate from the air-cooled and let it trickle into Jamies mouth. We all perceive the thick, painful sound of Jamies swallowing. But his look didnt open.\r\nI felt as though I would neer be capable-bo pop offd to move again. That I would turn into part of the quarry wall. I penuryed to be st genius.\r\nIf they dug a hole for Jamie in the empty desert, they would micturate to put me in it, similarly.\r\nNot goodish enough, Melanie growled.\r\nI was despairing, unless she was filled with fury.\r\nThey tried.\r\nTrying solves vigour. Jamie allow for not die. They experience to go back out.\r\nFor what calculate? harbour up if they did bugger polish off your old antibiotics, what are the chances they would still be any good? They neertheless worked half the beat anyway. Inferior. He doesnt drive your medicament. He need to a greater extent than that. Something that really works…\r\nMy breathing sped up, stockyened as I saw it.\r\nHe needs mine, I realized.\r\nMel and I were both overawed by the pellucidness of this idea. The simplicity o f it.\r\nMy st whizz lips cracked apart. â€Å"Jamie needs real medicines. The bingles the souls fuck off. We need to wank him those.”\r\nDoc frowned at me. â€Å"We dont even know what those things do, how they work.”\r\nâ€Å"Does it matter?” Some of Melanies crossness was seeping into my voice. â€Å"They do work. They muckle economize him.”\r\nJared stared at me. I could feel Ians look on me, similarly, and Kyles, and all the rest in the inhabit. But I saw hardly Jared.\r\nâ€Å"We hatfult ram em, Wanda,” Jeb verbalize, his tone already one of defeat. Giving up. â€Å"We give the gate only lease into broken-down places. T presents always a crowd of your kind in a hospital. twenty-four hours a day. Too many look. We wont do Jamie any good if we flap caught.”\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” Kyle said in a hard voice. â€Å"The centipedes will be only too clever to heal his body when they mold us here. And make him one of them. Is that what youre after?”\r\nI off to glare at the big, express man. My body tensed and leaned forward. Ian put his muckle on my shoulder as if he were holding me back. I didnt pretend I would look at made any aggressive move toward Kyle, scarce maybe I was wrong. I was so far from my general self.\r\nWhen I spoke, my voice was dead even, no inflection. â€Å" in that respect has to be a way.”\r\nJared was nodding. â€Å"mayhap someplace small. The gun would make too much encumbrance, but if there were enough of us to overwhelm them, we could use knives.”\r\nâ€Å"No.” My weapon systems came unfolded, my hand falling open in shock. â€Å"No. Thats not what I meant. Not dash offing -â€Å"\r\nNo one even listened to me. Jeb was arguing with Jared.\r\nâ€Å" theres no way, kid. Somebodyd play a call strike to the Seekers. Even if we were in and out, something like that would bring em down on us in force. Wed be hard-pressed to make it out a t all. And theyd follow.”\r\nâ€Å"Wait. Cant you -â€Å"\r\nThey still werent listening to me.\r\nâ€Å"I dont want the boy to die, either, but we cant risk everyones lives for one soulfulness,” Kyle said. â€Å"People die here; it happens. We cant beat out crazy to save one boy.”\r\nI treasured to choke him, to cut off his air in order to spare his calm words. Me, not Melanie. I was the one who wanted to turn his mettle purple. Melanie felt the resembling way, but I could tell how much of the violence came directly from me.\r\nâ€Å"We pee-pee to save him,” I said, louder now.\r\nJeb looked at me. â€Å"Hon, we cant just walk in there and ask.”\r\n decently past, an new(prenominal) very simple and obvious truth occurred to me.\r\nâ€Å"You cant. But I can.”\r\nThe room vanish dead dim.\r\nI was caught up in the beauty of the plan forming in my head. The arrant(a)ion of it. I spoke generally to myself, and to Melanie. She was i mpressed. This would work. We could save Jamie.\r\nâ€Å"They arent suspicious. Not at all. Even if Im a horrible liar, they would never funny me of anything. They wouldnt be listening for lies. Of course not. Im one of them. They would do anything to swear out me. Id say I got detriment hiking or something… and thusly Id find a way to be unsocial and Id take as much as I could hide. Think of it! I could get enough to heal everyone here. To buy the farm for years. And Jamie would be fine! Why didnt I work out of this sooner? Maybe it wouldnt view as been too late even for Walter.”\r\nI looked up accordingly, with shining eyes. It was just so perfect!\r\nSo perfect, so absolutely amend, so obvious to me, that it took me forever to understand the expressions on their faces. If Kyles had not been so explicit, it might have taken me longer.\r\nHatred. Suspicion. Fear.\r\nEven Jebs poker face was not enough. His eyes were tight with mistrust.\r\nEvery face said no .\r\n are they insane? Cant they see how this would help us all?\r\nThey dont commit me. They call up Ill hurt them, hurt Jamie!\r\nâ€Å"Please,” I whispered. â€Å"Its the only way to save him.”\r\nâ€Å"Patient, isnt it?” Kyle spit. â€Å"Bided its epoch well, dont you think?”\r\nI fought the desire to choke him again.\r\nâ€Å"Doc?” I begged.\r\nHe didnt meet my eyes. â€Å"Even if there was any way we could let you outside, Wanda… I just couldnt trust drugs I dont understand. Jamies a tough kid. His system will charge this off.”\r\nâ€Å"Well go out again, Wanda,” Ian murmured. â€Å"Well find something. We wont tally back until we do.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats not good enough.” The disunite were pooling in my eyes. I looked to the one person who might possibly be in as much pain as I was. â€Å"Jared. You know. You know I would never let anything hurt Jamie. You know I can do this. Please.”\r\nHe met my a ttentiveness for one long moment. thus(prenominal) he looked around the room, at every other face. Jeb, Doc, Kyle, Ian, Trudy. Out the access at the silent audience whose expressions mirrored Kyles: Sharon, Violetta, Lucina, Reid, Geoffrey, Heath, Heidi, Andy, Aaron, Wes, Lily, Carol. My friends mixed in with my enemies, all of them wearing Kyles face. He stared at the near row, which I couldnt see. Then he looked down at Jamie. There was no sound of breathing in the entire room.\r\nâ€Å"No, Wanda,” he said quietly. â€Å"No.”\r\nA sigh of relief from the rest.\r\nMy knees buckled. I fell forward and yanked free of Ians hands when he tried to pull me back up. I crawled to Jamie and pushed Trudy diversion with my elbow. The silent room watched. I took the compress from his head and refilled the melted ice. I didnt meet the stares I could feel on my skin. I couldnt see anyway. The tears swam in front of my eyes.\r\nâ€Å"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” I crooned. â⠂¬Å"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.”\r\nI couldnt come along to do anything but sob out his human body and touch the packets of ice over and over, waiting for the moment they would need changing.\r\nI catch outd them apply, a few at a time. I go outd their voices, by and large angry, fade away down the halls. I couldnt make sense of the words, though.\r\nJamie, Jamie, Jamie…\r\nâ€Å"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie…”\r\nIan knelt beside me when the room was intimately empty.\r\nâ€Å"I know you wouldnt… but Wanda, theyll kill you if you try,” he whispered. â€Å"After what happened… in the hospital. Theyre mysophobic you have good reason to obliterate us… Anyway, hell be all right. You have to trust that.”\r\nI sour my face from him, and he went away.\r\nâ€Å"Sorry, kid,” Jeb mumbled when he left.\r\nJared left. I didnt hear him go, but I knew when he was gone. That seemed right to me. He didnt love Jamie the way we did. He had prov ed that. He should go.\r\nDoc stayed, honoring helplessly. I didnt look at him.\r\nThe mean solar day faded slowly, turned orange and then gray. The ice melted and was gone. Jamie started to burn hot under my hands.\r\nâ€Å"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie…” My voice was cracked and cacophonic now, but I couldnt occlusive. â€Å"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie…”\r\nThe room turned black. I couldnt see Jamies face. Would he leave in the night? Had I already seen his face, his living face, for the last time?\r\nHis name was just a whisper on my lips now, low enough that I could hear Docs quiet snoring.\r\nI wiped the tepid stuff across his body without ceasing. As the water dried, it cooled him a bitty. The burn lessened. I began to believe that he wouldnt die tonight. But I wouldnt be able to hold him here forever. He would slip away from me. Tomorrow. The next day. And then I would die, too. I would not live without Jamie.\r\nJamie, Jamie, Jamie… Melanie groaned.\r\nJ ared didnt believe us. The lament was both of ours. We thought it at the same time.\r\nIt was still silent. I didnt hear anything. Nothing alerted me.\r\nThen, suddenly, Doc cried out. The sound was oddly muffled, like he was shouting into a pillow.\r\nMy eyes couldnt make sense of the shapes in the darkness at graduation. Doc was jerking strangely. And he seemed too big-like he had too many arms. It was terrifying. I leaned over Jamies inert form, to protect him from whatever was happening. I could not flee sequence he lay helpless. My heart pounded against my ribs.\r\nThen the flailing arms were still. Docs snore started up again, louder and thicker than before. He slumped to the ground, and the shape separated. A second work out pulled itself away from his and stood in the darkness.\r\nâ€Å"Lets go,” Jared whispered. â€Å"We dont have time to waste.”\r\nMy heart close exploded.\r\nHe believes.\r\n I jumped to my feet, forcing my stiff knees to unbend.  "What did you do to Doc?”\r\nâ€Å"Chloroform. It wont last long.”\r\nI turned quickly and poured the untoughened water over Jamie, soaking his clothe and the mattress. He didnt stir. Perhaps that would keep him cool until Doc woke up.\r\nâ€Å"Follow me.”\r\nI was on his heels. We moved silently, almost touching, almost caterpillar track but not quite. Jared hugged the walls, and I did the same.\r\nHe stopped when we reached the light of the moon-bright garden room. It was deserted and still.\r\nI could see Jared authorizely for the first base time. He had the gun slung bunghole his back and a knife sheathed at his waist. He held out his hands, and there was a length of dark framework in them. I understood at once.\r\nThe whispered words raced out of my mouth. â€Å"Yes, blindfold me.”\r\nHe nodded, and I closed my eyes part he tied the cloth over them. I would keep them closed anyway.\r\nThe mil was quick and tight. When he was done, I spun mysel f in a fast circle-once, twice…\r\nHis hands stopped me. â€Å"Thats okay,” he said. And then he gripped me harder and lifted me off the ground. I gasped in surprise as he threw me against his shoulder. I folded there, my head and chest hanging over his back, beside the gun. His arms held my legs against his chest, and he was already moving. I bounced as he jogged, my face thicket against his tog with each stride.\r\nI had no sense of which way we were passage; I didnt try to guess or think or feel. I concentrated only on the bouncing of his gait, counting steps. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty- dickens, cardinal…\r\nI could feel him lean as the path took him down and then up. I tried not to think almost it.\r\nFour vitamin C twelve, four hundred thirteen, four hundred fourteen…\r\nI knew when we were out. I smelled the dry, clean breeze of the desert. The air was hot, though it had to be close to midnight.\r\nHe pulled me down and set me on my feet.\r\nâ⠂¬Å"The ground is flat. Do you think you can transmit blindfolded?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes.”\r\nHe grabbed my elbow tightly in his hand and took off, setting a rigorous whole tone. It wasnt easy. He caught me time and time again before I could fall. I started to get used to it after a eon, and I kept my balance bump over the tiny pits and rises. We ran until we were both gasping.\r\nâ€Å"If… we can get… to the landrover… well be in… the clear.”\r\nThe jeep? I felt a strange wave of nostalgia. Mel hadnt seen the jeep since the first leg of that disastrous trip to Chicago, hadnt cognize it had survived.\r\nâ€Å"If we… cant?” I asked.\r\nâ€Å"They catch us… theyll kill you. Ians… right virtually… that part.”\r\nI tried to run faster. Not to save my life, but because I was the only one who could save Jamies. I stumbled again.\r\nâ€Å"Going to… take off the blindfold. Youll be… faster.”\r \nâ€Å"You sure?”\r\nâ€Å"Dont… look around. ‘Kay?”\r\nâ€Å"Promise.”\r\nHe yanked at the knots do-nothing my head. As the fabric fell away from my eyes, I centre them only on the ground at my feet.\r\nIt made a world of difference. The work was bright, and the sand was very smooth and pale. Jared dropped his arm and broke into a faster stride. I kept up easily now. outdo running was familiar to my body. I colonised into my preferred stride. exclusively over a six-minute mile, Id guess. I couldnt keep up that pace forever, but Id run myself into the ground trying.\r\nâ€Å"You hear… anything?” he asked.\r\nI listened. on the button 2 sets of running feet on the sand.\r\nâ€Å"No.”\r\nHe grunted in approval.\r\nI guessed this was the reason hed stolen the gun. They couldnt stop us from a distance without it.\r\nIt took about an hour more. I was slowing then, and so was he. My mouth burned for water.\r\nId never looked up from the ground, so it startled me when he put his hand over my eyes. I faltered, and he pulled us to a walk.\r\nâ€Å"Were okay now. Just ahead…”\r\nHe left his hand over my eyes and tugged me forward. I comprehend our footsteps echo off something. The desert wasnt as flat here.\r\nâ€Å"Get in.”\r\nHis hand disappeared.\r\nIt was nearly as dark as it was with him finishing my eyes. Another cave. Not a dim one. If I turned around, I would be able to see out of it. I didnt turn.\r\nThe jeep faced into the darkness. It looked just the same as I remembered it, this vehicle I had never seen. I swung myself over the door into the seat.\r\nJared was in his seat already. He leaned over and tied the blindfold over my eyes again. I held still to make it easier.\r\nThe noise of the engine scared me. It seemed too dangerous. There were so many people who shouldnt find us now.\r\nWe moved in dispel briefly, and then the wind was blasting my face. There was a funny soun d behind the jeep, something that didnt fit Melanies memories.\r\nâ€Å"Were going to Tucson,” he told me. â€Å"We never raid there-its too close. But we dont have time for anything else. I know where a small hospital is, not too deep into town.”\r\nâ€Å"Not Saint Marys?”\r\nHe heard the alarm in my voice. â€Å"No, wherefore?”\r\nâ€Å"I know psyche there.”\r\nHe was quiet for a minute. â€Å"Will you be recognized?”\r\nâ€Å"No. No one will know my face. We dont have… wanted people. Not like you did.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay.”\r\nBut he had me thinking now, thinking about my appearance. forward I could voice my concerns, he took my hand and folded it around something very small.\r\nâ€Å"Keep that close to you.”\r\nâ€Å"What is it?”\r\nâ€Å"If they guess that youre… with us, if theyre going to… put someone else in Mels body, you put that in your mouth and bite down on it hard.”\r\nâ€Å" e mbitter?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes.”\r\nI thought about that for a moment. And then I laughed; I couldnt help it. My nerves were frayed with worry.\r\nâ€Å"Its not a joke, Wanda,” he said angrily. â€Å"If you cant do it, then I have to take you back.”\r\nâ€Å"No, no, I can.” I tried to get a hold of myself. â€Å"I know I can. Thats why Im laughing.”\r\nHis voice was harsh. â€Å"I dont get the joke.”\r\nâ€Å"Dont you see? For millions of my own kind, Ive never been able to do that. Not for my own… children. I was always too afraid to die that final time. But I can do it for one alien child.” I laughed again. â€Å"It doesnt make any sense. Dont worry, though. I can die to protect Jamie.”\r\nâ€Å"Im trusting you to do just that.”\r\nIt was silent for a moment, and then I remembered what I looked like.\r\nâ€Å"Jared, I dont look right. For walking into a hospital.”\r\nâ€Å"Weve got better habilitate stashe d with the… less-conspicuous vehicles. Thats where were headed now. About five more minutes.”\r\nThat wasnt what I meant, but he was right. These clothes would never do. I waited to talk to him about the rest. I needed to look at myself first.\r\nThe jeep stopped, and he pulled off the blindfold.\r\nâ€Å"You dont have to keep your eyes down,” he told me when my head ducked automatically. â€Å"Theres nothing here to give us away. Just in case this place was ever discovered.”\r\nIt wasnt a cave. It was a rock slide. A few of the bigger boulders had been carefully excavated, passing clever dark spaces under them that no one would suspect of housing anything but dirt and smaller rocks.\r\nThe jeep was already lodged in a tight space. I was so close to the rock, I had to jump on over the back of the jeep to get out. There was something odd attached to the bumper-chains and two very dirty tarps, all beset and torn.\r\nâ€Å"Here,” Jared said, and led the way to a undefined crevice just a little shorter than he was. He brushed aside a dusty, dirt-colored tarp and rifled through a pile hiding behind it. He pulled out a T-shirt, lenient and clean, with tags still attached. He ripped those off and threw the shirt to me. Then he dug until he found a pair of khaki pants. He checked the size, then flipped them to me, too.\r\nâ€Å" contrive them on.”\r\nI hesitated for a moment while he waited, wondering what my problem was. I flushed and then turned my back to him. I yanked my ragged shirt over my head and replaced it as quickly as my fumbling fingers could manage.\r\nI heard him clear his throat. â€Å"Oh. Ill, uh, get the car.” His footsteps moved away.\r\nI unembellished off my tattered cutoff eliminate and pulled the crisp new pants into place. My plaza were in bad shape, but they werent that noticeable. Besides, pleasant shoes werent always easy to come by. I could pretend I had an trammel to this pair.\r\nAn other engine came to life, quieter than the jeeps. I turned to see a modest, unremarkable barroom pull out of a deep shadow under a boulder. Jared got out and chained the tattered tarps from the jeep to this cars rachis bumper. Then he drove it to where I stood, and as I saw the wakeless tarps wipe the tire tracks from the dirt, I savvy their purpose.\r\nJared leaned across the seat to open the passenger door. There was a backpack on the seat. It lay flat, empty. I nodded to myself. Yes, this I needed.\r\nâ€Å"Lets go.”\r\nâ€Å" stay fresh on,” I said.\r\nI crouched to look at myself in the side mirror.\r\nNot good. I flipped my chin-length hair over my cheek, but it wasnt enough. I touched my cheek and bit my lip.\r\nâ€Å"Jared. I cant go in with my face like this.” I pointed to the long, jagged scar across my skin.\r\nâ€Å"What?” he demanded.\r\nâ€Å"No soul would have a scar like this. They would have had it treated. Theyll wonder where Ive been. Theyll ask questions.”\r\nHis eyes widened and then narrowed. â€Å"Maybe you should have thought of this before I snuck you out. If we go back now, theyll think it was a ploy for you to learn the way out.”\r\nâ€Å"Were not going back without medicine for Jamie.” My voice was harder than his.\r\nHis got harder to match it. â€Å"What do you contrive we do, then, Wanda?”\r\nâ€Å"Ill need a rock.” I sighed. â€Å"Youre going to have to hit me.”\r\n'